Desolation after destruction,
Determined to destroy the battered.
Dabbled in days of discussion.
The words screamed could never replace words unsaid,
Even if whispered in pain,
Deadly verbal daggers thrown that could damn the dead .
Always whispered in vain.
My soul mixes with the air to cause cancered hearts,
I'm not of this world,
My being fixes to assemble scattered parts.
I didn't mean to hit eject and be hurled.
A dangerous landing erased careful planning,
But alive i am,
Tedious demanding encased understanding.
But scattered i stay in dunes of sand.
Okay, I take back what I said on the phone. I appreciate the struggle in this one when reading it with my own eyes. There is a story hidden under the words you have placed so carefully. I do agree now this was the best of the two.
ReplyDeleteFirst the title is perfect, perfect, perfect I love it. Very deep message and delivery with this one. I feel connected with your message.
ReplyDeleteand fav lines:
The words screamed could never replace words unsaid
My soul mixes with the air to cause cancered hearts
verbal daggers
~Love it, and I love you
The first stanza was clever I picked up on the the secondary scheme you were using after a second read. I believe that stanza also tells the story in its completion[almost], and the rest sheds light on your personal view of the experience. The crispness of the poem shows through in your POV. Again more honesty& more heart has been given. It proves that there is beauty in conflict. I would like to add - it would be nice to see if you could do a whole piece in the same style as the first four lines[you have always met all my challenges and succeeded, but try it for me]
ReplyDeleteISLYB.