If you look in my eyes you will be confused yet mesmerized
Dark with no color yet full of life
if you look at my heart you'll think that my body withered and died
old crevices darkened and covered with ice
My teeth stay clinched so tight they begin to hurt
even when the pain is unbearable
A quickened pace leave disturbances within my shirt
disruptions of thought are terrible
i search but i cant find the feeling of being.. alive
My mind spins in every other direction
When will the sanity promised by youth finally arrive?
Lessons forgotten start the ripple effect with issues of digression
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I like the soft rhyme in this one. It flows nicely when I read it out loud.
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I like the imagery here.
I like the "lessons forgotten" and "ripple effect"
The overall feeling is captured. Easily visualized. Your writing has taken a 360 that brings you to aa whole new higher level. These last few have me super impressed. More when I speak to you...
seeds being planted are a beautiful thing. your ability to put more of your self into your work makes me so proud. i see growth in every word you share and the first line alone shows how deep you are able to go now. i love you babe,good job buddy =]
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