Crooked canals seem to cancer my minds passages,
They flank my system and the first symptom is anger,
The situation goes from capable to cancelled packages.
Forgotten practices redeem the handled danger.
Turbulence in my undercarriages causes confusion in my passengers,
Nose die from 1400 feet, am i supposed to be this high?
Bodies as rag dolls grounded by seat fasteners.
Closed eyes see forgotten maydays with descending fates falling out the sky.
Mental executions refer families to the end of the waiting line,
A dead silence lays upon the room with shared fears,
Respiratory systems slow as minutes seem like days in time.
Fed violence sprouts couples of paired tears.
A simple conformation by signatures insure the act,
Marble walls to rubble as shovels hit debris from pedaled hate,
A respectable title and burial for the lost soul and a honorable plaque.
Tidal waves of numbness and weeping willows at the rest of fate.
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i am amazed right now. this poem makes think of a persons actions taking down multiple people, but not in a physical sense. a take down of the mind, but slowly, as to make sure the act is set in stone. the story is incredible, i enjoyed the feeling of suspense i was given. the reality of falling and taking others with you to just make to them in to a memory in the end is an an idea that transcends in to every ones lives.
ReplyDelete"Turbulence in my undercarriages causes confusion in my passengers,Nose die from 1400 feet, am i supposed to be this high?"
that has to be my favorite line in the entire piece. it will be easy for people to take this line in many different ways... much like the rest of the poem. the story will remain the same but everyone will see a different moral in it. all and all id have to say, the entire poem was excellent, I'm impressed. very well written, good metaphors, and full of emotion in the undertone. [love you]