I live to lie under trees dying from the hot sun and no water, but I'm shaded,
I will not be deprived of things i cant have,
With my eyes i cant see things that die jaded.
Even if this cigarette burns to the tip, i will take another hit and i drag.
The night depletes with each breath that shakes out my temple,
And the cold screams in the wind keep me up as always,
The solution is right in front of my face but in actuality its not all that simple.
The screams terrify me, even when its not night they scream on all days.
And i stay stuck here, waiting for the echoes to stop screeching.
The battle that i cannot win nor lose, but i have a choice and i choose,
The thick dusty land around the trunk i lay at drains,
My emptiness is full and instead of withholding, i ooze.
Pain only manifested in the dark places of human brains.
And i lay here, deciding if my once perfect vision will stop streaking.
I ponder past thought for decisions that involve meaning,
And overall i cant cradle this life with such a shadow,
Life in a shaded area causes a devilish stinging.
But then again ill die if i try to live a life that's too shallow.
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This poem leaves me feeling so much sadness and pain. I enjoy the way it sounds when I read it outloud. It flows calming but the words fill my heart with sadness for sure.
ReplyDeleteI like the way the images of the battle between ones self (ones mind) form. I can almost see the pain but I can definitely feel it.
~I love you
breath taking.The first stanza was showing so much determination, a sense of I can do anything screaming in every line. I noticed as the poem went on though that feeling evaporated. The second stanza was full of fear.. but I am not sure if it is fear of the writer or fear of the unknown...every thing after those 2 stanzas though left me in utter shock. The wording was beautiful, as well as the metaphors. "I ponder past thought for decisions that involve meaning"<-- that was one of the best lines you have ever written. You are growing in to such a well rounded poet.ily
ReplyDeletethough you state there is pain, that is just a part of growth. youre stretching something to a bigger and new size. of course that is going to hurt.
ReplyDeletei'm taking from this a realization. though a hard realization, it's still a step in a positive direction.
it just so happens that this, out of everything i've ever read of your's, hit's the closest to my being.
"I will not be deprived of things i cant have"
this shows fight. this shows determination. that you won't be defeated. strength. very admirable.
"The night depletes with each breath that shakes out my temple,
And the cold screams in the wind keep me up as always,"
time is moving. time never stops no matter how much we want it to.
the battle just seems to be life. you can look at it
in black and white but the end result is just living.
"I ponder past thought for decisions that involve meaning"
this was very touching to me.
more or less i'm stuck in the cycle of my past.
i often reflect on my choices and realize most of them didnt hold meaning. that defintely puts many things in perspective.
"But then again ill die if i try to live a life that's too shallow. "
taking things at face value will just make
you stagnant. your mind will die. very true statement.
that is what i'm taking from this.
im personalizing it to myself because that's obviously how people grasp others thoughts. by reflecting it to themselves.
hooray!